Russia

Russia is the world's largest nation.  It is far from the most populous, however, because much of its surface area is just Canadian-type wasteland.  a lot of people regard Russia as a cold, cruel, and unfun place.  Well those are mostly half-truths.  For the COMPLETE story, keep reading!

Russia used to be the main part of the Soviet Union, the largest and also the bossiest part.  America was on friendly terms with the Soviet Union until just after World War II, when they made the mistake of trying to spread COMMUNISM.  Not too many Americans were sure what communism was, they just knew it was very, very scary.

Hence, the Cold War, which was a war between  the United States and Soviet Union in which there was no actual fighting.  Instead, they decided to have a race.  a SPACE race!

...whiiich was not as cool as it sounds.  No finish line, and they failed to race in unison.  Probably too hard to get something like that organized, with the language barrier and all.  Who "won" the space race?  We did, by planting the American flag on the moon, where it still stands.  Russia has not yet sent a cosmonaut up there to kick it over. 

The Cold War ended when the Soviet Union disbanded in 1991, marking the end of communism, at least for them.  Everyone was tired of waiting in line for bread.  How come they had no food but there was always plenty of vodka?  "Sorry, we're out of sandwiches, but let's all get smashed!"

Sending a monkey into outer space with a flask.  "You're gonna need this."

Russian people like and excel at things that are boring.  Ballet and chess and poetry.  Suits them well as the modern, peace-loving Russia.  But what about before when they were the "bad guys?"  Did they expect Americans to feel inferior and dominated?

"Feeble American pawn structure!  Now experience the wrath of our SOVIET chess pieces."

"Idiot little American girl thinks she can write POEM?  Igor, show her proper iambic pentameter that make her cry."


and speaking of competition, the BIG news in Russia lately is that they get to host the 2014 Winter Olympics!  To ensure that the Games are kept safe, secure, and terror-free, Russian President Vladimir Putin has constructed a massive "Ring of Steel" that encircles the entire Olympic venue.  Man, how welcoming.  I wonder where he got that idea.

(Matryoshka dolls, aka Russian Weebles.  Harmful if swallowed.)


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