a blog about WOMEN: a 5-year FLASHBACK blog!

(Originally posted October 8, 2007)

I don't read women's magazines, but from what I've seen on the covers they are 99% PURE FILTH!  Why does anyone need 260 sex tips?  That's way too many.

Girls really like cards and gift bags, man.  I guess it's not the steak, it's the sizzle with them, you know?  Hallmark should make expensive bags that you can put a card in instead of using an envelope.

I bet fat chicks hate Valentine's Day more than ugly chicks.  Both spend the day lonely and depressed, but the fat chicks have to endure the extra sting of missing out on the eating of the chocolates.

Do women ever eat "Hungry Man" frozen dinners?  I want to know.

If you gave the average woman the choice of pain-free childbirth or automatic hairless legs, what do you think the more popular choice would be?  It's a toughie, for sure.

According to a recent survey, 80% of females under the age of 40 now have at least one tattoo.  I find that shocking.  Also, ear-piercings are down but all other piercings have gone way up from 50 years ago.

Strange fact about the Golden Girls: They are all STILL ALIVE!

I think "Hooters" should enforce its hiring-girls-with-nice-bodies-only policy across the board.  Cooks, corporate accountants, everybody.

You should not cheat on your wife or girlfriend, but if you must, do it with a girl that works at a Chinese delivery place.  Your wife will keep seeing a strange number on your cell phone, but if she calls it she'll just think you've been hungry a lot.  (Always keep some empty take-out cartons in your car and office to cover your bases.  Your mistress will probably be able to get them for you.  See how it all comes together?)

Sorry to any ladies that read this and got mad but I think a lot of this stuff needed to be said.  The rest of it probably didn't but I felt I was on a bit of a roll.

Happy Columbus Day.


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