EEK! It's my SPOOKY SPIDER blog!

To a lot of people, a spider is the most terrifying thing on the whole planet.

It doesn't have to be that way, though!  Spiders want to be our friends.  and they are pretty much everywhere, so whether you like them or not you're gonna have to get used to them.  They are like the office co-workers of the natural world.  So quit being a COWARD and learn all about the goodness of spiders in this very special fear-conquering blog!

First off, I will concede that spiders are very messy.  Their webs get everywhere, especially in basements and other places that are haunted.  They are easy to get rid of though, just grab a broom.  It's not all difficult like trying to get rid of a wasp nest or raccoon lair.  You knock it down, the spider comes out with its hands on its hips, says "Well, HRMPH!", and goes right back to work.  Repeat and fade.

Other than that, spiders are generally not bothering you.  In fact, they are HELPING you.  Spiders are catching and destroying hordes of dangerous insects all over the world as we speak.  It is a vital part of the ECOSYSTEM.  You wouldn't want to live on a planet without spiders, believe me.  Mosquitos would own this joint.  There'd be no crops.  No animals could survive.  Captain America would be the main Marvel Comics guy.

While most spiders are harmless, there are a FEW species that can bite you with their fangs and poison you with venom and cause you to get sick, feel intense pain, and/or die.  This is not cause for alarm, though.  Spiders like that only live in places where nobody ever goes, like the depths of the jungle and also Australia.

The Black Widow is the most popular spider amongst women.  It is because the female kills and eats the male directly after mating.  Women high-five each other and harness some type of "girl power" from this.  That might seem nonsensical, but much like spiders, girl power is vital to the ecosystem.

The best-named spider is the Daddy Longlegs because they gave it a pimp name.  Isn't that great?  In fact I bet spiders would be liked much better as a whole if more of them had cartoony pimp names.  a lot of spiders are adorned with some pretty flashy colors.

Some spider pimp ideas:

Finally, what's with saying "EEK?"  Is that an exclamation of fear reserved for things that are frightening but also small?  I never hear "EEK, a mountain lion!"  Nobody screams "EEEEEEEEEEEK!" on the roller coaster.  a frightened passenger on an airplane doesn't say "EEK," he says "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" all sensible.

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