Bugs: a 5-year FLASHBACK blog!

(Originally posted October 17, 2008)

Aside from being cool-looking, bugs ain't too cool.  They bite, sting, scare people, and infest things like a mother.  There is no way to get rid of bugs, as they are part of God's plan.  Fortunately he also implanted us with the good sense to murder them frequently and without hesitation!  (Exceptions: Butterflies, ladybugs.)

Bugs have "exoskeletons."  I like that, it seems very sanitary.  No sweating or anything.

Ants are said to be very strong, but you never hear a weightlifter described as having "ant-like strength."  Then again I guess you don't hear too many people describing weightlifters.


List of ways to fuck with ants:

- Put one on a helium balloon and let it go (outside)

- Put one on a tennis ball in the middle of the pool

- Put a few ants in a Tic-Tac box that is taped to a bottle rocket

- Put them on a record (one that's playing)

- Feed them some chocolate-covered ants and witness the horror when they eat through the chocolate shell


There have been several animated movies in which bugs were actually the PROTAGONISTS even though they are the bad guys in real life.  Very Godfather, no?

Fun fact: 50% of people that claim to be allergic to bee stings are either lying or have been lied to.  Good luck proving it though.

I wonder if any bugs in the woods have been accidentally shot by hunters?  That would be 1000 times more difficult than a hole-in-one in golf.  Sadly, if it ever happened, the hunter probably didn't know.

DID SPIDERMAN EVER KILL A SPIDER?  Did the other superheroes ever kill spiders when Spiderman was AROUND?  If the Incredible Hulk wants to kill a spider does he have to be very careful not to smash the whole wall?  Any comic book nerds out there get back at me.


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