Thursday, March 27, 2014

Ragu spaghetti sauce is the worst-tasting food on earth


Even if you don't know how to cook, why would you buy it?  The other jarred sauces are right there, such as Prego brand and also Emeril.




How did it become such a go-to product?  It costs MORE than some of the other kinds, so don't use the "cheap pop" excuse.

You know what I mean.

"Well, since Walmart's Great Value Brand Root Beer costs 20 cents less than Barq's, I will buy that kind instead.  It's good ENOUGH, at least for MY kids."

Ragu actually has the nerve to pretend to be a NAME BRAND, like Heinz and Cadillac and Pepsi.  Yet it is so unbelievably horrible, it's the pasta sauce equivalent of that "trick gum" that makes your teeth turn black or fall out or whatever.  (I've never eaten prank gum so I don't really know what happens.)


When you open a jar of Ragu spaghetti sauce a springy snake should pop out and surprise you ('ha ha you thought you were getting something real"), and then the snake should also bite and kill you.  It's the only way you'll learn.

I do not know who is in charge of the official Ragu Twitter account, but they are stealing their paycheck.  FIGURATIVELY.  I hope that the person in question suffers from shameful sleepless nights and also some kind of financial trouble, like gambling debt or a home loan gone wrong.


***tHe rAgU hAiKu***


Ragu, my Ragu

You seriously taste bad

"Bam," said Emeril








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