Feeling tough at the nice restaurant: a 5-year FLASHBACK blog!

(Originally posted September 10, 2007)

We went out to dinner at this little Greek restaurant in the city, it was like a yuppie place by the park and the art gallery and it was nice because they let us sit outside.  Anyway I could tell right off that this place was more upscale than what I am used to because all the waiters were male.  (Someone told me that is how you tell.)  Also I was the only person wearing a hat.  I mean some people had the old person type hats that you leave on a rack but I was just wearing my Buffalo Sabres cap that I like to wear whenever I'm out dining somewhere.  (Gotta represent, you know?)

Another thing was that the beer was really moderately priced and not tons expensive like at Applebee's.  I guess everybody mostly drinks wine there and they just have some beer available in case some boot-and-hatter like me shows up, in which case it's kind of like the kiddie menu.  "Would you care to see the wine list...oh you are wearing a cap so probably not."  Not that the waiter was all snooty like that, he was actually a nice fellow that I imagine is aspiring to be an actor or a dancer or something, but I could tell that he was a bit uncomfortable with me.  Like I asked about getting my beer in a pitcher and he seemed pretty shocked, like nobody had ever asked for that before.

So then I was getting a salad and he asked if I wanted feta cheese on it and I asked what the other options were and he said that instead I could have it with nothing.  So duh I got the cheese and the salad was actually really good but I could sense now that the waiter was becoming rather terrified of me and my questions.  "What will he ask for next?  What if he tells me to supersize something?"

Now even though I am eating feta cheese I am feeling like the manliest man in the world.  Usually there are big tough dudes at places I go so I am pretty quiet and keep to myself to avoid getting punched.  But at this place I was looking around and decided that I could beat anybody up if I felt like it.  I wouldn't do that because I am not violent but it is still nice to have the option once in awhile.

Then I think maybe the waiter played a little trick on me because I ordered a meatball dish for my entree and he brought it to me with this huge He-man portion of linguine that nobody could ever possibly finish in one sitting.  Like, "Take THAT, guy that doesn't shave before going out to dinner!"  No hard feelings though, I probably had it coming.

Okay so in summary I recommend going to nice restaurants sometimes.  The food is good and you get to feel tough.  Other places might be more fun with sports on TV and waitresses with big boobs but you will spend a lot on beer and then possibly get punched.


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