The dog next door keeps barking at me: a 5-year FLASHBACK blog!

(Originally posted September 20, 2007)

Every time I want to use my backyard for gardening or jumping on my trampoline or sitting in the sun drinking beers there is this dog that barks at me incessantly from behind a fence.  So then the kid that lives there will yell at the dog to shut-up, but he keeps barking anyway, and now it's like they're having a conversation.

Dog: "HEY JERK BEHIND THE FENCE I'LL KILL YOU!"

Kid: "SHUT-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!"

Dog: "WHAT?  WHY?"

Kid: "SHUT-UP!"

Dog: "BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, THERE'S A GUY OUT HERE!"

Kid: "SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!"

Dog: "I AM *TRYING* TO *TELL* YOU SOMETHING!"


Also since dogs have excellent hearing it can also hear me sometimes when I'm INSIDE the house, which results in more barking.

"HEY!  SOMEONE IS BRUSHING THEIR TEETH!  I'LL KILL WHOEVER I FIND OUT IS DOING THAT!"


Dogs sure are insane maniacs but they can do neat tricks.  I feel dog tricks are more impressive than magician tricks because they are real.  I gotta ask, what is lamer than a magician?  If someone asks me, "Hey want to see a magic trick?" I say "No."  If someone asks me, "Hey want to see me lift something really heavy over my head and then THROW it?" I always say "Definitely."  That is a valuable SKILL, not a bunch of nonsense.

The dog trick I like best is shaking hands.  I think it's fun to pretend to make a deal.  "I won't hit you with a newspaper as long as you promise to breathe in my face while I'm sleeping, okay?  Shake!"

By the way I don't really have a trampoline, I lied.


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