Pelton and Crane Dental Equipment (Part 1 of 2)

Ever since my mouth had teeth in it, I have been going to the dentist.  Much has changed over the years.  The staff.  The locales.  Things costing more.  Pina colada flavored tooth polish.  But one thing has remained constant.

Pelton and Crane.

The leaders in dental equipment.  Their brand name is somewhat LITERALLY burned into my brain, after so many hours staring into that lamp.  They do it all.  The chairs, the tools, even the cabinets.  and Pelton and Crane have established themselves as a company that I trust.  If they made toothpaste I would BUY it.  Screw Colgate, they don't even know HOW to make a chair.

So in those same hours spent starting into that lamp, one cannot help but contemplate how all of this came to be.  Who WERE Pelton and Crane?  Were they childhood friends, dreaming out loud about innovations in the world of dentistry?  Did they have a treehouse?  Which one of them kissed a girl FIRST?  and how jealous was the other?

Unfortunately, it has been difficult to find the answers to these questions.  Pelton and Crane do not even have a WIKIPEDIA.  I would like to create one for them, but I got banned from wikipedia some time back because of all that fake shit I made up about Gulliver's Travels.

At the end of my dental visits, the dentist usually asks if I have any questions.  I usually do not.  I imagine he gets asked a lot of questions about wisdom teeth and cigarettes and floss, but I never have questions about that stuff.  After my last appointment, though, I decided to finally ask him something.

Me: Who were Pelton and Crane?

Him: What?  Oh, that's just the company that makes our equipment.

Me: No no, I mean who were THEY?

Him: I.....don't really know, sorry.

Me: Whatever.


I paid the bill anyway and left.  and ever since, NO ONE has been able to help me.  Pelton and Crane do not have a Facebook or Twitter.  I went INTO A LIBRARY and found nothing.  Even church was no help.

The only answer seems to be coming up with my OWN story.  I think that would finally put my mind at ease.  Therefore I have decided to compose and publish "Pelton and Crane: a Play in One Act."  I will spend the next week writing it, and hopefully have it ready for you all by Saturday, depending how fantasy football goes.  and if it turns out to be full of inaccuracies the Pelton and Crane company will be FORCED to come forward with the TRUTH.  See how that works?

Ha.


Click HERE.