Pajamas

Some men still wear pajamas.  and I don't mean just the flannel pants with the old t-shirt.  The FULL SET.  a grown man sleeping in bottoms that exactly match the top.  Not to stereotype, but a lot of these men seem to be pretty well-off financially.  What's the connection?  I guess maybe they are also used to wearing nice suits where the pants have to match the jacket.  There should be a special "night tie" that they sleep in as well.  It would be worn looser than their daytime tie, but still made of fine material.

and if you're really, REALLY rich you should wear one of those pantless gowns with the long sleeping cap like Ebenezer Scrooge.  All by YOURSELF.

It's a lot more acceptable for women to wear pajamas.  Cause that's cute.  But ladies, please not at Walmart, Burger King, the county fair, etc.  You should not eat cotton candy with pajamas on.

AND!

Do NOT buy these:

Retaining too much water to put on actual pants?  Fool everyone in your home or office with Pajama Jeans!  I dare any bloated woman to wear these on a first date.  "He'll never suspect a thing!  They're perfect!"  The guy sitting across the table is thinking "I hope she doesn't notice this is just one of those t-shirts with a tuxedo PRINTED on it!"  Everyone at Golden Corral stares as the two of them walk hand-in-hand to the cotton candy bar.


and guess what?  Thanks to our old buddy the internet, I am now aware that there are even WORSE things out there...

What in holy damn hell.  If these exist, SOME couple owns them.  and the people in the pictures are models, intended to make the product look attractive and good.  People in real life, the ones buying these, do not look like that.  What is the largest size in which you can get matching footie pajamas with a flap in the back?  3X?  4X?

5X?

6?


Some people just boycott pajamas altogether and sleep in the nude.  Cheapskates.  Who do you think you are?  James Bond?  James Bond is a character in a movie.  He can't have sex with the Russian spy girl and then say "Well, I'm bushed.  Better get my pjs on!"  Then again, if you're James Bond, people are always trying to kill you.  So you should never be naked, you have to be READY for ANYTHING.  So basically his best option is probably to do the thing where you get dressed and sneak out after the girl falls asleep.  He would be good at it, he is a SPY.  Spies are quiet, sneaky, and clever.  He could also do the thing where you leave $10 on the nightstand so that the girl wakes up feeling like a cheap hooker.  and don't feel sorry for her, she's with the BAD guys!  Remember?  They're all trying to KILL him!


Oh, here's another one:

Click HERE.