The Geico Cavemen: a 5-year FLASHBACK blog!

(Originally posted August 21, 2007)

I do not like the Geico Cavemen!

The premise makes no sense.  THEY DO NOT LIVE IN CAVES!  They live in that house with the piano.  So they are not "cavemen," they are just Neanderthals or Dryopitheci or something.

When the guy said "so easy a caveman could do it" he meant that a person completely inexperienced with technology and computers and heavy machinery and stuff would still be able to enjoy and navigate the Geico website.  Even if that person lived in a cave with no computer hook-ups in it.  Kind of an exaggeration but I understood his point.

WHY DID THEY GET MAD?  It's the living in the cave that's the issue, not their slope of brow.  I could understand maybe if they did live in caves, they might argue "Hey jerk just because I live in a cave doesn't mean I'm stupid.  I just like caves, okay?"  But they don't, and then they got all paranoid and jumped to the conclusion that he was mocking them.  He was really mocking people that live in caves, many of whom have traditionally happened to be at the same evolutionary level.

So to simplify, all cavemen are Neanderthals, but not all Neanderthals are cavemen.  Or maybe that's backwards.  Anyway, he shouldn't have had to buy them dinner.

Now I hear that these jerks are getting their own TV show, which I'm sure will be met with tremendous critical acclaim and generate huger television ratings than an Urkel/Balki wedding.  I'm being SARCASTIC if you can't tell.  More likely it will get cancelled after one day and everybody involved will feel embarrassed and ashamed and turn to pills and scientology for comfort.  Like what happened to the people that tried to make a TV show for Bowzer from Sha-na-na.  (Look it up.)


Here's how that wedding would go by the way:

Urkel throws the bouquet, which gets caught in a candelabra chandelier, catches fire, and then the chandelier falls into the wedding cake, smashing the table and sending broken glass everywhere and setting off the sprinklers.  Everybody screams.

Urkel: Did iiiiiiiiiiiiii do that?

Balki: Of course not, don be reedeeculohs.

Urkel: *snort laugh*

Bowzer: Dope doh doh dope doh

(END)


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