You should not cheat at games: a 5-year FLASHBACK blog!

(Originally posted August 15, 2007)

Earlier today I was playing Scrabble and somebody tried to use "thou" as a word.  As in "where art thou?"  Seriously.  That is so OBVIOUSLY against the rules but the IDIOTS I was playing with wouldn't listen to me.  Since I pride myself on my good manners and sportsmanship, I kept playing anyway and was wrongfully defeated.  The whole thing was very upsetting.  I left without offering to help clean up and am now thinking of boycotting the old folks home altogether.

Everywhere I look I see CHEATERS.  Did you know that everybody in baseball has been taking steroids for YEARS?  Also, cyclists.  Can you believe that?  Cheating at CYCLING!  What next, fishing?  I am no longer confident that the Bassmasters Classic is legitimate.  Those guys could be on anything, they don't even test.  a boat is a dangerous place to get roid rage too, and there is a lot of disappointment in competitive fishing that could easily set someone off.

Some other ways in which people are frequently dishonest:

- Lying to POLICE OFFICERS! ("No I haven't been drinking," etc.)

- Eating half a steak in a restaurant and then sending it back

- Tampering with the mail

- Stealing newspapers

- Looking co-workers in the eye and smiling, pretending you don't hate them

- Smashing into other people's cars and driving away

- Pretending not to have been shot during a Civil War re-enactment

- Reading books and magazines without buying them (besides at the library)

- Moving down to better seats at the baseball game or circus

- Faking illness

- Wearing disguises

- Pretending to lose people's phone numbers

- Going to the same house twice on Halloween

- Cleaning your house before someone comes over so they will think it's like that all the time

- Drawing cartoons in which humans and dinosaurs co-exist

- Orgasms


I never had to take a lie-detector test but they seem like fun.  They should make a home version.  That would be so good for solving little crimes around the home or office.  You could bring it into work all like, "Let's find out who embezzled!  Who downloads porn?  Everybody line up."

Keep it in the breakroom so you can still get your work done, you know?


Click HERE.