There are too many people on the Earth: a 5-year FLASHBACK blog!

(Originally posted August 28, 2007)

This planet is overpopulated.  The world population is going to reach SEVEN BILLION soon, and it will probably only go up from there.  Most of these people will be in China, India, and Uganda, but a lot of them will be in regular countries too.  Obviously there are dozens of things to be concerned about in regards to the future of the world.  Will there be enough oxygen?  and food?  Sometimes I get hungry late at night.

Overpopulation will cause a multitude of problems.  Some examples:

1) Long lines for the roller coaster

I can't imagine what it must be like to go to an amusement park in China and have to wait in a line that's like a billion people long just for one ride.  Not to mention the beer stand, BATHROOMS, waterslide, and FINDING A PLACE TO PARK!  That must make for such a miserable day, especially if it's hot outside.  Why even go?

2) No privacy!

If there are too many billions of people on the planet, everywhere you go there is gonna be somebody.  Where will people go to make out?  You will park your car at some remote location under the stars, and children and hooligans will be running around all over the place.  That kills the mood.  You will go to take out the trash, and when you lift off the garbage can lid there will be a guy in there.  "Sorry, this was the only place I fit."

3) Everyone will steal your bike

Streets will be so clogged with traffic that bicycles will be the best way to get around, and introducing more people to the planet inevitably means that we will be introducing more THIEVES.  Don't even think about buying lawn ornaments or outdoor Christmas lights.  That stuff will be GONE.


So how do we correct overpopulation?  Well over the weekend I did tons of research and have come to the conclusion that we can't.  Too many people are gettin' it on, and there will not be enough air and crops for the babies when they grow up.  In about 100 years, life on the planet will be like a perpetual car trip with your family.  Everything will be cramped and everyone will be irritable and you will have to play that alphabet game to maintain sanity.  The government will issue a cooler full of sandwiches and drink boxes to each home.  and maybe books of Mad-Libs (if we're lucky).


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